Your hello of the day is: Alo Vikings!

Alone on a saturday afternoon? Have no fear, the Phroshtbytte Show is here, the place where all Club Penguin humor goes to die. We make sure that every episode features the discombobulated remains of Rookie after accidentally getting inside a meat grinder, while no one’s yet to ask what the point of the mask is. While the summer sun is trying to melt me into water (vikings), I present to you yet another unfunny list of headlines, or something like that. To the people saying this meta humor of not taking yourself seriously isn’t funny, you’re objectivly correct! Ninth time’s the charm.

For today’s audio, you have to guess which Water Viking Troop I stole this from! If you come to me with the correct answer, your prices range between one fourth of a Subaru, one of B2’s chess peices, and an automatic subscription to Viking Commander +. Viking Commander +, the only subscription that forces you into recruiting 50 kids before getting any perks.

Viewer Description: The views portraid in the Phroshtbytte Show are not the same ones shared by the Water Vikings and is a work of Satire.

BREAKING NEWS: KATH COMES OUT AS “ACTUALLY FRENCH”

In a tactic to scare off other armies from Legends Cup, profound “canadian” Kath has just come out as french. We’re not fully suprissed by the news, as according to our sources, “Canada” isn’t a real place. If you look at the language of portuguese, the true language, you’ll notice something scary. “Canada” sounds a lot like “Cá nada”, which means “here” and “nothing”. In other words, there is nothing. I’ve hired a map artist to examplify what this frase means. Either way, I need to report this massive story about the truth behind Kath.

She spontaneously announced to the communty in main chat to “Let’s French”, in other words support french ideals. As France is the only nation in the world that has repeatibly tried to promote fr*nch ideals (ew), we have no conclusion but that Kath is actually french. I mean what other countries exist that speak french? Space France? Stop laughing at me, you know there isn’t such thing.

We apologise for the uncensored broadcast of the f-word. We believed that for the context of the post, it’s meaning would’ve been lost without the exibition, despite its profound profanity. We’ve realise our mistake now and any future instances of “fr*nch” will be censored as such.

BREAKING NEWS: NO ONE WANTS TO ATTEND LEGNEDS CUP… BUT US

Originally, this year’s Legends Cup was suppost to have 9 armies attend, 8 of which smell like pee and 1 of which didn’t (also known as Water Vikings). However in a twist of faith, most of these armies have abandoned Legends Cup glory this year. Even before announcing the schedule, Templars dropped out after hearing the battles were going to have Multilog checks during the event, and Aliens‘ wifi turned dark after Ams ate all the cables, believing them to be “Cableaux du farde”, a local dish of Space France (I was wrong).

However, things got worse. Army of CP withdrew participating after Daniel’s head was so shinny that it caused the rest of their HCOM to go blind. Going in blind is usually never great so they left. Help Force left as every single member stubbed their toe arriving to work (they go barefoot to work), needing to go to the hospital, where they got diagonosed with “Eternalus twentymaximus” and died shortly after from blood cancer.

Things got more worse as RPF and DW fought over which army should dress black (both have goth mommies attending). They argued for so long that they didn’t notice the 2000kg anvil placed above both, causing a cartoonish death, as they sunk to the center of the earth and back (like a big trampoline). They labelled the experience as “cringe” as someone farted in the room and left the tournament, leaving us with only 5. SnowWalkers already announced a merger to non-participant Fire Vikings while the pizza restaurant of Pizzaoili burned down after the SnowWalkers tried going there (We definetly didn’t bomb it). Romans remembered the Roman Empire fell and had a heart attack, and Star Force couldn’t afford the tickets to fly to Earth and back (World Cup, everybody jump.).

HOWEVER, the glorious army of Boxmen of Boxland has been accepted to play the final with the remaining army, Water Vikings. The same army that chose to go against RPF while maxing 1 has high hopes after a historic reach to the finals of Legends Cup. We’re promissed BOB didn’t cause all the casualties

5 THINGS TO DO WHEN

Death. 5 Things to do when is a segment where people are asked a question (or not) and they have to answer. If your answer is also here, congrats you win.

The question was: How long until I get leader? (asked specifically at HCOV and Leaders only)

The Vikings answered…

1. idk bro

2. 2126

3. Soon, real soon.

4. You’re fired

5. if you mess this up i assure you i WILL be on you

Congrats on winning in this completly real edition! Bonus points if you can tell which one is a threat from Darci! It should’ve been Kath you retention merchant!

BONUS FUN STUFF

This is where I dump whatever was in starboard, art or memes

mit be oaby mne tore hime

Maid Pingo isn’t real, he can’t hurt you (also Maid Pingo: )

Suggs be like

This is what i imagine every leader gc looks like

15 year old video btw

<><><><><><><><><><><>

And yet another episode of hot garbage has been served. Was it about Legends Cup? Barely. Did you laugh? Also barely. Heres to episode 10 which will feature 10 ways to die playing club penguin, until then uhhhh remember to count your calories kids or else you’ll end uplike the Stone of A-a-ron.

PingoBoiii <- made this post

Viking Chief

Filed under: Water Vikings, Water Vikings of Club Penguin Tagged: | Phroshtbytte, Phroshtbytte Show