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Welcome to This Year’s Political Fad, Anarchic Authoritarianism (And You Can Strangle The Life Out of CPA, Too!)

FROSTBITE, Pjayo’s Pizzeria — A post in this vein is something I’ve been eager to make for the last few months or so, but I struggled to really pinpoint a good reason to put my feelings out there in any formal matter. However, with the recent disaster that has been Legends Cup XII, it seems like my anger has finally boiled over to the point of no return, as I find myself authoring this article. It’s long, but I highly encourage every member of the community to put some time aside and read this, as it addresses many of the problems we face.

Prologue, Notes, and Thesis

What to expect for the next 7000 or so words

A few days ago, Dino posted a link to an old Club Penguin Army Central editorial from 2016, written by Bluesockwa1, titled Editorial: Welcome to This Year’s Political Fad, Absolute Anarchy (And You Can Waste Your Time, Too!). I personally consider it to be one of the greatest CPAC posts of all time. Lately, I’ve been reading this post fairly consistency since then, and I’ve noticed some parallels with our current situation. In it, B1 describes the sorry state Club Penguin Armies were in at the time, with a drought of army theorists and philosophers, and revolutionary leaders. A time where multilogging, botting, and editing pictures was rampant. A time where CPAC was breathing its dying breaths. Central would eventually be put down like a sick dog, as the imminent shutdown of Club Penguin as a whole the following winter brought the community to its knees, only carried forward by the RPF, and eventually revived in a bastardized state (one I consider illegitimate). Further in the post, he gives a brief summary of the history of key individuals in the community, CPAC’s role in uniting said community, missteps taken during World War VI, and what was then the recent disaster that had been Zakster’s (WV’s founder) reign as CPAC CEO. Not only do I highly recommend that editorial, I consider this post a spiritual successor (thus the title), and therefore required reading to really grasp this post. At the top of that post as well, you’ll find multiple other editorials done by B1, all of which I recommend, but will not be nearly as touched upon as the former. For the sake of my argument, it’s absolutely imperative that a full understanding of how we got to this point is achieved. With this in mind, this essay will include a large portion of history, for those who aren’t quite caught up on everything following Zakster’s abdication and Mach’s ascension to the most powerful role in our community.

The main reason I consider this post a spiritual successor to B1’s, is the state of the community is eerily similar in nature. We are, undoubtedly in a slump. While a certain army clad in gold will tell you otherwise, their outlier size can’t even come close to representing the community at large, as even the number of armies has shrunk to a level potentially never seen before. Further, not unlike the Collapse of 2016, we are burdened by the presence of both a council, in our case the army board, and also inflicted with ineffective community heads. The situation is dire. However, where I think our current situation is different, is that unlike Zakster’s borderline anarchic time as head of the community, the current ruling organization, that being Club Penguin Armies (not to be confused for the community of the same name), have placed us in a state of complete shutdown, with VERY little of the now incredibly complicated business of being the de-facto successor to CPAC’s legacy being transparent, beyond vague statements and leaked discussions. Much like 2016 as well, many people find other things to blame, such as the lack of a true successor to Club Penguin itself and falling numbers of consistent recruits, among other things. However, I am part of the camp that places blame on the highest echelons of the community, that being the CPA Chief Executive Producers (Crazzy, Max, Lucifer, Spotty). Now while I did go out of my way to name them, this isn’t to smear them as people. On the contrary, I do genuinely enjoy talking with these four, and I find them all really nice. That being said, they are without a doubt the ones most responsible for the state the community finds itself in. All four have been at or near the top of the community totem pole for over two years, with nothing but decline to show for it. Part of may be due to COVID-19 fading into the background, forcing many to face the outside world. However, instead of a return to normalcy, CPA has left this unseen period of growth weaker than ever before, including post-2017.


Uncertainty, and Club Penguin Online

I believe it’s important to continue on from where B1 left off in regards to the historical context of what bought us here. Continuing on from the struggles of Zakster, CPAC would be left with a shell of a leadership, with an array of ineffective CEOs – Mach, Gob, Atticus, Zingking, Sammie – before being put on life support by KingFunks4 far too late. In the ashes of March 2017, CPAC was laid to rest for a final time, and the community was left without a guiding shepherd. This would eventually be rectified by the final CPAC CEO, as well as a few others – Security, Matthew, Eden. This phoenix organization would take the form of Club Penguin Rewritten Army Central, founded that April. CPRAC would be designed in the same way its predecessor was, however, lacking support from the objective sole superpower of the Rebel Penguin Federation, it would be consumed by conflict. Eventually, Sammie and Mathew would be forced out, leaving Eden and Security as the sole CEOs. This would continue until late summer, when Security would turn on his creation and destroy the organization. This would TRULY leave Club Penguin Armies without a news site.

What follows is a series of duds unlike any other. A short revival of CPRAC in early 2018 by Security and Sweater, which would almost immediately implode. SMAN, DSMAN, fell soon after their creations as well. In March of 2018, Club Penguin Rewritten, then the premiere private server, would be shut down. At the time, this was deemed a permanent shutdown. While other servers were used, such as CPUniverse, there would be no solid ground to stand on until CPA was met with a very sharp double-edged sword. This sword would be named Club Penguin Online.

Club Penguin Online in itself honestly deserves its own post. Nothing comes close to both the life that this private server breathed into CPA and how close to death it’s brought it since. CPO is a tale of growth and success, while simultaneously being a tale of oppression, corruption, and ultimately failure. But it all can be drawn back to one man. Some know him as Anthony, some as Riley, but for me, he’ll forever be Waterkid101. Waterkid is an odd case, as he is potentially the most vilified man in CPA, and has been for years – even before CPO, but at the same time, he is undoubtedly one of the most legend-worthy figures in Club Penguin Army history. Waterkid would open Club Penguin Online in February 2018, and would initially operate it on a strictly no army policy, as Water seemingly wanted to avoid his past in the community. However, as CPO admin Epic101 – often considered Waterkid’s right hand man prior to 2017, and moderator Bucky would reopen the Club Penguin Pirate Army, the policy would be shifted. Instead, CPO would become a safe haven for armies.

Club Penguin Online Army League’s logo.

Coinciding with this, was the need for a potential unifying site, in the same vein as CPAC. We weren’t cavemen, after all. Using the private server itself would be borderline uncivilized! This too, Waterkid would solve. His answer was the Club Penguin Online Army League.  Created in May of 2018, its sole purpose was to be the unifying vessel of CPA. A new CPAC. To help with this goal, Legends Cup IX would be announced, with the objective of driving all the armies under this new roof. It would succeed in its goal, even gaining the usage of RPF, who would go on to win this Legends Cup. Further advances were made with CPOAL, including a team of judges, and a proto-league. I would argue that even with what follows, CPOAL was a major step for post-2017 armies. Without CPOAL, it’s possible that a solid base for unification, and growth would never be formed in CPAM – an organization that would be discussed later.

World War VII would soon follow, and in that conflict, allegations came out against Waterkid. These allegations would get RPF thrown out of CPOAL, and effectively CPO all together. A standard had been set at this moment, and this standard would follow CPO for the rest of its time as all mention of RPF was banned on CPO, and in the CPOAL. This rocked the community, and combined with CPR’s surprise revival, CPOAL would fall into disarray. Eventually, it would be picked up by Epic101.

Epic101, Rejuvenation, and Authority

Epic101 (Or Epic Master) was mentioned briefly earlier in this essay, however I do think he needs a bit more background. Epic, in contrast with many people who would join CPA in this era, myself included, wouldn’t start in the Army of Club Penguin. In fact, some would say he started in what may be the closest thing to ACP’s direct rival: The Club Penguin Pirate Army. CPPA was allegedly founded in 2007 by Bid Now. While BN is the creator, CPPA wasn’t worth anything until Waterkid got his hands on it, and around 2010, Water unknowingly recruited what may be his most loyal follower. Epic would follow Waterkid wherever he went, including his most important stint at the Light Troops, being the front-runner in a long list of armies attempting to overthrow ACP’s total dominance. You can read more about that in B1’s editorial. Epic wasn’t truly a major force in armies as far as the original era of armies would go. He would gain a leadership position in 2015, where sizes would tank, and wouldn’t recover until Waterkid returned as leader later that year. With allegedly illegitimate runs through Club Penguin’s shutdown in 2017, Epic would only walk away with little to show beyond a mention on CPAC’s All Time Awards, under “Biggest Noob”. (Fun Fact: I would place as the 5th biggest noob of 2013!) As luck would have it though, Waterkid would eventually find a place for him.

With Club Penguin Online, Epic would finally be respected. Serving as an admin on the private server, Epic would become inflicted with army fever – the need to lead, if you would. This would be satiated by the aforementioned reopening of the Pirates. While his role as leader of the Pirates is noteworthy, it’s not the focus of this essay. All that needs to be stated is that this was the gateway for armies to swarm CPO as their new home. For now, let’s direct our attention towards the crumbling CPOAL. This husk of a league would be picked up by Epic. As Waterkid’s man on the ground, Epic would push CPOAL to thrive beyond what armies had been prior to this point.

With CPOAL, Epic would finally be in control. Nominally independent from Waterkid, Epic’s new CPOAL would blossom into the beating heart of a new army community. One that would achieve incredible sizes, introducing hundreds of people to the idea of Club Penguin Warfare. Notably at this time, CPOAL would finally gain a proper news cycle, as well as a true judging force. While CPOAL from this point on had birthed multiple new armies, such as the Aliens and Help Force, it could mostly be characterized as the breeding ground for the later mass revivals of long dead armies, such as Ice Warriors, Doritos, Redemption Force, SWAT, and Golds. For the time being however, no one came close to the dominance of Epic’s favorites, the Light Troops and the Pirates.

Pirates in late 2018.

Things had been going quite well for CPOAL up until this point. However, one could argue it was all a farce. Epic, using his admin position at CPO, would begin giving away coins to anyone who would attend battles. This would spread across many armies in CPOAL, and with it, an unspoken contract. If you wanted the sizes, you would only operate on CPO, and you would have to be associated with CPOAL. This, of course, would spiral infamously into an almost entirely isolated ecosystem, where one would enter freely but never leave without a fight. Epic would also go out of his way to entirely ignore those outside of CPOAL. If they weren’t with him, they weren’t an army. If they tried to leave? They would be smeared by CPO and CPOAL staff. In a few select cases, even further consequences, such as chat hijackings, threats of doxing, and defacing of websites. While initially on the surface, all seemed well, it would prove to be very much the opposite, as Eden leads a mass exodus out of CPOAL, in search of greener pastures across the pond. Thanks to CPOAL, Epic was feared.

I personally find Epic to be quite a tragic figure. Certainly, in many ways a mirror of my own CPA experience, in regards to when he joined, ridicule faced early on, and eventually gaining some aspect of respect, yet still wildly controversial. However, I do believe he goes beyond that. Epic has, against all odds, become one of the most vital figures to look at in regards to recent CPA history. Going from the figure that B1 lambasted in his editorial, a leader from a generation without strategists, philosophers, and theorists, to the very thing he would have loved to see, that being a figure who put his theories to the test. This paragraph has really nothing to do with the article, but I did find it worth mentioning that Epic is certainly an interesting figure, and one that should 100% be studied going forward.

Club Penguin Rewritten, and The Struggle Against Armies

In contrast to CPO, Club Penguin Rewritten has no army background. This section is, in my opinion, far less interesting than that of CPO’s internal conflict, so this will be abbreviated immensely for the sake of getting to the point. CPR was founded in the chaos of early 2017, as an immediate replacement to the soon to be discontinued Club Penguin, in the same vein of Toontown Rewritten. It’s founders, unlike CPO, had nothing to do with armies, nor did they really seem to care initially. However, it seems history is destined to repeat, as much like in the case of the original, Rewritten faced the formation of clans, including most infamously, the Tubas. I do genuinely think that the subject of that potentially repeating cycle that was unfortunately stomped out by legacy armies such as RPF would be a great post topic someday, as a side note.

Regardless, as CPO was founded, CPR would prove to be the natural contender, as they both fought for the status as the main private server. Much of the early CPPS history takes place here, and is already covered in this post, in the section Uncertainty, and Club Penguin Online, so I’ll continue forward to where we left off in regards to Eden and his exodus. Armies including the Pizza Federation, Elite Guardians, Winged Hussars, and others would flee to CPR. Eventually, a league by the name of Club Penguin Armies (not to be confused for the current league, nor the community) would be founded by Greeny and Memmaw. Doctor Mine Turtle, or DMT as he’s known now as Mine Turtle is a really unfortunately dated reference for a username, would eventually come to helm the organization, and would be the first true competitor to CPOAL. DMT would be the first to truly operate on a league format outside of CPOAL, introducing a map, and judges, while arguably lacking in regards to the news. However, much like prior organizations, this two would collapse, leading to a split. It’s worth observing why this continued to happen in regards to organizations tied to CPR. A major part of it appears to be the lack of support by CPR itself, unlike CPOAL, which was directly tied to CPO. It’s possible without that upper pressure, and without the legacy that carried CPAC (many forget that there is a long trail of dead news sites prior to CPAC, including some armies operating their own news organizations), that these organizations would fail.

Everyone besides ACP, HF, and RPF had left for Club Penguin World, another organization that would only last a few months in its own right. However, the decision made by the remaining three would be the basis for the people in power going forward, as well as guaranteeing a constant organization in power. Emcee, then RPF Second in Command, would propose to a group chat consisting of then RPF Commander, and future legend Ultipenguinj, then ACP Leader and future legend Koloway, and then HF Leader, soon to retire, and future legend Ayan an idea of a new organization. This organization would be in the hands of the armies, rather than a select few. This organization would eventually become Club Penguin Army Media, or CPAM. Focused entirely on news initially, some of the greatest minds of post shutdown CPA would write for CPAM. More importantly, it would be founded on the cusp of the largest growth period in Club Penguin Army History. February, 2020. The COVID-19 Pandemic would be declared one month from now.

Emcee’s initial proposal

World War Rewritten, Collapse of CPO, and COVID-19; and The Consequences That Followed

By early 2020, the situation between CPOAL and CPAM has gone completely cold. Zero interaction between the two was occurring. On the CPO side of things, it was explicitly forbidden to acknowledge, let alone discuss the happenings in CPR. CPO, of course, is the best private server, as the Pirates twitter would tell you. As for the CPR side of things, it was generally said that you should avoid talking to any admins or officials from the CPO side. Two distinct communities had flourished in the wake of the split, inherently distinct from one another, with incredibly different ideas on how an army organization should be run. CPOAL was top down, rigid, and tied intrinsically to CPO. CPAM, in contrast, was very much a bottom-up organization, acting simply as a newsletter and common space for army happenings to be discussed. It seemed as if that stability had finally been reached with CPAM, and with COVID-19 trapping everyone inside their homes, sizes exploded as hundreds began to log onto Club Penguin for the first time in years – myself included. Having witnessed the premier tournament myself, not only was I surprised to see armies alive, but thriving – far more than when I had left it prior. Eventually I would set up shop as the Shadow Troops. Before I could even get comfortable though, World War Rewritten would break out. While this was an ultimately pointless conflict, it proved to almost be too pointless. Lasting five days in length, WWR would be riddled with confusion and controversy. The biggest issue with the war was the simple fact that no one wanted to admit defeat. Both sides of the conflict had been broken by the lack of anything definitive. This would lead to potentially the most important meeting in CPA history, post-2017. Coming out of that meeting, CPAM promised judges, and a map. It too, was now an organized league. To say the CPR community was scarred by World War Rewritten would be an understatement. Many people I talk to today will point to this as proof that a league is necessary, and that it was worth it all (Hi Super!!).

As I’m sure a good chunk of the people reading this are aware, I truly detest the decision made at that meeting. I personally voted in favor of judging, but not the map. As far as I’m concerned, there are inherent issues with a league system that are a large reason as to why our community has continuously suffered. At the time however, I voted against it on the simple principle of “We didn’t have it when I was 13, we don’t need it now!”. With time, my position on this would become stronger and further defined. Something I’ll be going into detail on later in this post. For now, however, we must look into the troubles that would bear down on Club Penguin Online.

Starting in mid-April, Waterkid would begin facing a series of allegations against him, made in the form of exposé videos. The allegations made in these videos included that of grooming, suppression and attacks against other private servers, with a small mention of army activity. These allegations would eventually spiral into the killing blow for not only CPO but arguably a Club Penguin Private Server renaissance, as these allegations made it to the front page of BBC news. For Waterkid, it was just a matter of time until something serious happened. On the level of armies however, what followed was a complete collapse of the CPOAL. Doritos. Aliens. Templars. Gone from CPOAL in weeks. By the end, all that remained of the major armies was the Warrior alliance of the Dark Warriors and the Ice Warriors, and the house favorites of the Light Troops and the Pirates. CPOAL, which had been a decisive power through 2018, was on the brink of collapse. In May, it was announced that Club Penguin Online had been contacted by Disney themselves, and would have to shut down. While originally planned for the end of May, CPO would go dark soon after this announcement, followed by reports that Waterkid had been arrested. Weeks of unrest would follow this, as multiple private servers were hit with DMCAs, as the Club Penguin Online incident proved to be a PR nightmare for the usually copyright protective Disney.

The big question following this however, was what to do with CPOAL? The objectively larger league, one that had four armies that, on paper, dwarfed most of those in CPAM. The solution seemed to be to allow them to operate on Club Penguin Armies: The Game, a private server developed by CPA Legend Superhero123. As for what would become of both CPAM and CPOAL, they would merge into one super league; the first united army organization in years. Club Penguin Army Hub was born. For me, I consider the resulting league a bastardization of both prior leagues, mashing together the incompatible ideologies of CPAM and CPOAL, birthing the now infamous army board, and would prove to be the first step in the over-legislation of CPA.

Freezie66’s plea to the CPOAL community

While initially off to a good start, problems would begin to show later in the Summer. Following the violent collapse of both the Light Troops and Pirates, their leaders would push for them to join both DW and IW, which they did in droves. The four largest armies were now RPF, IW, ACP, and DW. RPF, coming off WWR, formed what may be the most powerful alliance in CPA History: The Black Ice Alliance. Consisting of RPF, DW, and IW, BIA would prove to be nigh unstoppable throughout 2020. The creation of BIA lead to a polarization, as ACP, DCP, and WV would eventually be put on the opposite end. The wars they would fight directly would not be what I would characterize as the part to note, however. The proxy wars that followed would prove to be a problem for the league. BIA would have a long list of proxies, ranging from Special Weapons and Tactics, Golden Troops, Water Ninjas, and Mangoes. These smaller armies would swarm the map, flood votes, and generally prove to be a thorn in the side of the precarious league. Legislation would follow that would put a cap on colonies and perceived proxy armies. However, this for me is the point where I would say the idea of Small and Medium Armies died. Unable to cope on the map, smaller armies would either have to sit back, forced into only doing training sessions before getting their state mandated ass-kicking by a high seed in a tournament, or merge into a larger army. For the most part, this is what they did. The most recent Top Ten as of writing this, hosted 8 armies, with 8th place having a week high of 7.

Where We Are Today, Organizational Blackmail, Council Culture, and a Lack of Interest


I’m not one to perpetuate the idea that BIA was this unstoppable force, and that there was a clear bias towards them. I do however believe that BIA are indirectly responsible for the situation we find ourselves in, in regards to leagues. Let’s fast forward a bit, after the untimely collapse of CPAH, to the formation of Club Penguin Army Headquarters, and the subsequent split. CPAHQ was birthed from the fires of CPAH, and the death of Adobe Flash – an event once that was assumed would genuinely, absolutely, for real this time kill armies. However, where there’s a will there’s a way, and in came HTML5 private servers. Following a disagreement over a tournament result, the Black Ice Alliance pulled out of CPAHQ entirely, bringing us into a second split, and founding the zombie organization of Club Penguin Army Network. While I do believe it’s easy to point fingers at the ebil BIA for being meanies and making a new league, ultimately, I believe it’s more a symptom of the leagues themselves. With a league, you only participate with your consent. There is a spoken contract between the league and the army. This contract ensures that the league recognizes this army as “legitimate”, and in return the army will attend league hosted events and take part in their league system, whether that be a map, or judging. The main advantage with a system like CPAC, is that your consent was de-facto assumed. You were assumed to participate in the community by hosting an army. I think this proves to be consistently one of the biggest weaknesses of leagues. Even recently, when the Templars threatened to walk out from CPA (our current organization, not to be confused with the community or the former organization in 2019) as a result of a potential overturning of results. Something like that is simply impossible in a purely media focused organization. However, I should note that this is also a symptom of the bottom down approach CPAM took two years ago. The army is always right. The organization cannot take a stand.

On the opposite end of CPAM’s cardinal sin, is a perturbed form of Epic’s ideology of an entirely closed off ecosystem, manifested in how CPA operates most of the time – that being entirely behind closed doors, with no information being fed to the public. It’s worth noting that this has been a consistent issue with the recent organization, going back to CPAHQ as well, and their completely closed-door discussion to unify with CPAN, far before they would begin even vaguely public discussion of the idea. The only way most of these happenings make it into the public forum is through leakers slipping screenshots into people’s hands, who then proceed to spread it like wildfire. Alternatively, if the news is so outrageous, it’s fairly common for an army to post about it, and threaten to leave the organization over it. This was mentioned earlier, in the case of Templars threatening to leave the league following the Legends Cup XII finals, but this has happened twice in the few months of CPA’s operation.

Where I presume CPA CEPs and CPAJ Head Judges meet to discuss the issues plaguing the community

I’d like to take a brief moment to discuss the role of Club Penguin Army Judges, or CPAJ. CPAJ, while nominally independent, is very much tied to the CPA organization – as much as they’d want to tell you otherwise. It’s not like these two mechanisms being tied together is a bad thing, either. Personally, I see it as a benefit. One unified front to keep armies under the same roof. However, to outright ignore the inherent ties between this organization, whether it be that Spotty is both a key player in CPA and CPAJ, how both these organizations operate, or that other key players in CPA being heavily involved with CPAJ, is strange. I understand that coming from CPAN and CPAHQ – which might I add as I was mostly an outsider to the whole thing, seemed dumb, as our armies had gotten along just fine prior, CPAN’s existence seemed more like a political play for power rather than an escape from Prior Bumble’s CPW and Epic’s CPOAL – there was a strong desire for judges to be entirely separate. But it’s an impractical arrangement, given our contracting community size, and it seems that the people at CPA have understood that. So, for the sake of the next paragraph, I’ll be delving a bit into the issues with CPAJ, and applying them to CPA, as I personally see these two as the two legs that the community stands on.

While it’s easy to point and laugh at the Templars for blackmailing CPA twice, dig a little deeper and you’ll see that some of the grievances are legitimate (not all of them, mind you. A battle being overturned is not a good reason to try and sink a league). Looking below at the post “Robbery”, published October 12th, while you’re immediately drawn to the accusations of bias and the threat itself, I’m going to ask you to look a little deeper at this. Note the language Xing uses at the start of his post. “We were beyond angry to learn tonight…“, and “We then later learned…” For me, it sounds like the Templars had no idea the events of the 12th were coming, which in itself is shocking, given that this investigation had started that Sunday, on the 9th, when RPF initially called for an investigation into overturning the battle’s decision. While it is worth noting that RPF had waited a day to submit video evidence towards the investigation, this still leaves us two days between TCP finding out about their own investigation. This whole situation would later be resolved, again behind closed doors and a day later, keeping Templars as the army going towards the finals. Later, on the night of the 14th, RPF would allege that CPA and CPAJ conspired to overturn their own overturn, in order to ensure that the Templars wouldn’t leave the organization in favor of Lord Pain’s (illegitimate) CPAC. Assuming all of this is true, then it’s possible that CPAJ and CPA refuse to handle matters more transparently, in order to keep their organizations alive. This is corruption at genuinely the highest level of this community. At this point it’s also worth noting that both the Water Vikings, on the opposite end of the final and RPF, the ones who initially would bring forward the case to overturn, wouldn’t really know anything officially until the 13th, yet we were both aware of the ongoing situation solely through the actions of leakers, with zero real commentary coming from any officials in CPA and CPAJ.

Xing’s post threatening to pull Templars from CPA

At this point, I’d like to direct you to the bottom of Xing’s post. “We have already contacted an admin to lodge a complaint, but we aren’t interested in waiting around till the 11th hour to find out if we’ll be fighting in the finals.” This highlights another issue with CPA. When we do get information, it comes out very, very, very slowly. It seems to operate at a snail’s pace. Specifically in the case of the Legends Cup XII semi-finals, the official reason given was due to “…this being the first battle in over a year to allow reviews to take place in rounds other than the finals, we have come across multiple issues in the reviewing system itself, that also caused confusion and delays.” However, two days of delay for this is borderline insane, with the finals of the whole tournament rapidly approaching (tomorrow, as of writing this), forcing me to ask an uncomfortable question; do they really even care?

History Repeats

I’d like to take a moment to make a comparison. It’s gonna sound a little out there, so I hope you’ll bear with me while I present this. Epic, Ayan, Emcee, Koloway – These are leaders of action. Whether or not these actions were the correct course or otherwise, is not important. Because regardless, they took action, and achieved influence for it – as CPAM and CPOAL were far more respected than any of their predecessors, which would give the following CPAH legitimacy not seen since CPAC. This influence, was then inherited by the successors; CPAHQ, CPAN, and now CPA. The metaphorical sons and daughters of the leaders of action – Spotty, LuciferStar, Crazzy, Max – Could be seen as leaders of inaction. That’s again, not to say they are at all bad people, nor are they even bad at what they do (Crazzy and I go as far as to agree on a lot of aspects of CPA, at least on a philosophical level). However, I do think that given the circumstances there is an incredible lack of anything to show for how long they’ve been the effective community heads. Going further than this, the lack of communication beyond the occasional exposé post or announcement on some controversy in a tournament, in a desperate attempt to hold the league together almost comes off as a holier than thou type of situation, wherein because they hold that influence, they can ignore the rabble of the common folk, including army leaders and other notable community members. “Because I am at the pinnacle,” they might say, “I have no need to look down.” Whether or not this is true, or if this is even their intention, is not for me to say.

If this all seems familiar, then congratulations! You did exactly as I had hoped, and read Bluesockwa1’s piece. This situation mirrors the state of late-era CPAC. Coming off the highs of the reign of the Blue Brothers – even to an extent Funks, who while he used his growing influence inappropriately, did use his influence, cementing a young CPAC as the go-to for news – Zakster would take control, and proceed to use the influence he inherited to simply sit atop his tower, and belittle the community at large. Obviously, I don’t think that’s the direct intention of our current batch of CEOs (CEPs?), but it has been the outcome thus far.

However, this is where things differ. In contrast with Zak’s total lack of care – if not disdain – for this community, the CPA heads seem to at minimum want to appear as if nothing is wrong. Which is where we go back to the previous comments on the lack of communication. Without communication and transparency, it’s borderline impossible to really understand what the opinion of those in charge are. As members of the masses, we’re forced to guess that it’s being taken care of, and hope that there’s no issues behind the scenes. I don’t think this is a strategy CPA intends to use, but I do believe they’ve used it regardless, refusing to really touch on the faults of the league, instead leaving it to an undisclosed board meeting.

I. Leader takes action
II. Actionable leader earns influence
III. Influence is inherited by new leaders
IV. New leaders abuse their inherited influence
V. Inaction by leader leads to decay
VI. Decay leads to new leaders

This Cycle repeats ad-infinitum, until Club Penguin Armies themselves vanish. if this isn’t obvious, I’m paraphrasing from G. Michael Hopf, and his infamous quotation from Those Who Remain.

Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. And, weak men create hard times.

This quote is applicable in our community as well, it seems. With this in mind, it’s easy to assume that what happens next will be further decay, until a new leader takes action. This is what I personally believe the most likely outcome is. That’s not to say it’s impossible that the man perceived to be weak to become strong. In fact, I’d argue that it’s entirely within the capabilities of all of these admins, whether it be for a selfish reason, or for the betterment of the community. But to assume that all four of these people are doomed to failure, I think would be incorrect.

Going Forward

The year is 2016. You’ve done it! Finally, the corrupt and disgusting influence exerted by CPA Central on the army community has been vanquished. Never again will corrupt CEOs through the ages — with names like Kingfunks4, Bluesockwa2, Woton and Bluesockwa1 — never again will these gremlins attempt to exert their influence over the free army community. CP Army Libertarianism bubbles up like a molten chocolate cake, it feeds the soul of every free army leader who has ever hoped to be able to cheat in peace! Finally, the day has come! 

This is how B1 opened section IV, in his editorial. But here we are, in the year 2022. This statement remained correct through to 2018. However, when Epic came to power, once again the cycle continued. In many ways, “CP Army Libertarianism” would be seen as a failure, culminating in the disaster of World War Rewritten. However, looking back, I find myself longing for the days before a league. For those who weren’t around when CPAC was alive, it’s important to make clear just how hands off CPAC really was. Armies were left to be armies, and CPAC played the role of exactly what it was – Club Penguin Army Central. People would discuss current events, news, and opinion pieces. Beyond that, in regards to wars, territory, and treaties, that was up to the armies themselves. However, I think along the way we missed out on what would have been a nice middle ground. Simply leaving behind the ideal of leagues, much like we (kind of) left behind the idea of an army council. This alone would clear a large portion of issues, and from there we could rebuild this community, potentially bringing us into another golden age.

When leagues became the standard, I would say armies lost a bit of their soul. Let me explain what I mean by that. See, in the last few years, when talking about video games, a talking point seems to be that X game is SOULFUL while Y game is soulless garbage. It doesn’t really mean anything, and you can’t really quantify it. At the end of the day, both games go to sell ten million copies anyway, so who really cares. However, I think in the case of armies, this is genuinely applicable. The big problem with leagues and maps, is it forces all war to be about territory, when historically, it was hardly EVER about territory. Even to this day, no one really gives a shit about territory in their declarations. Just that X army did something we didn’t like. While the map is nice, it’s ultimately pointless, if not detrimental, when you look at the complete extinction of small and medium armies as a result of the map. Another thing I personally detest is the treaty system. Gone are the days where treaties had real impact, with unique clauses – some going as far as to force leaders out. Today, we’re stuck with frankly uninteresting treaties, simply stating a transfer of land, and treaty mandated peace for a few months. To say these circumstances are uninspiring would be an understatement. In chasing definitive results, we lost something as a community.

This brings us back to the current heads. While these problems have plagued the community for months at this point, nothing has been done. No one wants to do anything. That is the biggest problem facing us right now. These smaller issues with the league, while dangerous, can be easily remedied. However, no one wants to rock the boat. This goes back to my earlier point in regards to lack of care. I’m not sure if it’s that, but from my point of view, we haven’t had any proof to suggest otherwise – in fact, assuming RPF’s allegations against the organization are true, then it’s possible they may be actively harming the community to benefit their own position within it. If the CEPs really care, I hope I can get a response to this essay. Whether that be formally in a post or better yet, we can talk over Discord, and I can try and help resolve the issues of the organization.

According to B1, Zakster left a draft titled “I Hate Club Penguin Armies”, which was a very serious title. He did seem to genuinely hate everything about this community at the time of his resignation. However, I don’t hate armies. I love armies. Maybe too much, but I grew up playing this dumb game. More than anything I want this community to succeed. So, I suppose the last question I should pose is, will it succeed? Will we try and break this cycle of poor leadership? And will the current leaders be the ones to break it? Or will we need to decay further in order to rise again?



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