Mittens, Ondkriger HQ ─ In an unexpected turn of events this evening, Discord─the primary platform used for CPPS armies─suffered an outage; being unusable for around 2 hours. Our investigative journalists sought to figure out the culprit behind the cyberattack. After hard research, we have discovered that the People’s Cyberwarfare Agency, headed by PIC leader Sidie9, was behind the attack. Read more to find out!
When Discord went down today, our leader Revan attempted to refresh his Discord. He was greeted with a handful of questionable Tik-Toks such as this and this. Having seen this before during CPAHQ‘s infamous New Years’ Day celebration, he dispatched a team of staff to investigate the issue.
It appears that Sidie9 was behind the attack. She seemed to be annoyed at the success of Funkrizon, the popular CPA WiFi service that has been notorious for preventing CPA individuals from leaving their houses during the pandemic. This comes 2 days after she stated the following to CPAHQ in an interview:
Funkrizon is a glorified wireless network living off of the success of its predecessors like a parasite, sucking dry of the assets and money that keep it afloat.
A depiction of what WV leader Revan recalls seeing on his screen, seeing Sidie9’s Ramona Flowers persona asking him “Are you well? Do you have connection issues?” along with NSFW Tik-Toks.
★★★ INTERVIEW REGARDING THE CYBERATTACK ★★★
We attempted to reach out to Sidie9 for an interview regarding the cyberattack, but she was found too intoxicated to talk to us. Here is footage of when we tried to interview her:
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In other news, Thomas‘ Tinder page has seen a massive spike in views, although we can neither confirm nor deny if the PCWA was behind this sudden growth. We will continue to update you should anything change.
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Aaronstone
Ondkriger Publisher & Viking Commander
Dino
Ondkriger Editor-in-Chief